Prayer & Faith

I realized that I often fail to pray because I don't truly believe that it will change an ounce of what God will do. I don't believe the phrase "When we pray God works." Ask me if I do and I'll say, "Of course!" But look at my actions and my thoughts and they will show otherwise.

I've realized how much faith stems from prayer. To be honest, I'm not big into faith if I don't trust my prayers will ever have much effect. Isn't that what faith is?! So, in the big picture, I'm realizing how much I lack in faith. Now, recognizing it is the first step and it's a big one. It's hard to recognize these problems in faith when all is going well: I'm in a church, a nice campus ministry, Bible study, discipleship, Perspectives course, and I enjoy lots of sweet fellowship. My mind is engaged with God throughout the day, and yet I have trouble trusting Him in many matters of prayer.

I realized this problem around mid-January and I was going to post then. But I didn't and so I'm posting now in hindsight. Since then, I've moved from the initial realization into seeing how it affects my every day life. And from there a faith mindset can move in and kick out my disbelieving current mindset. Hopefully more on this in the future.

Encountering the Gospel

Wow, Perspectives offers a lot of learning. There are so many different things I've pondered lately. One thing is about church planting. The speaker last week really got me thinking and the reading has challenged me quite a bit. By these I have learned about a number of different people groups to whom the gospel has been shared and taken root. It's quite exciting to see how each group learns of Christ and how the gospel spreads throughout each people group. It's also very neat to see how each group worships God differently. And this has really struck me.

The reading encourages the idea of having a people group be self-operating as much as possible from the beginning. So, they form their own groups as they see need and they will meet regularly as large groups, but maybe not weekly or on Sunday. They're all focused on prayer, Scripture reading and teaching, fasting, accountability, etc. When there's a problem, missionaries encourage the group to search the Scriptures for answers and come up with their own decision with the guidance from the missionaries. Also, each group (that I've seen) naturally decides there's a need for a leader and so some are appointed.

I find it so intriguing to think of how people naturally respond to the gospel and Scripture without appointed guidelines on "how to do church." In some respects, I think it's better. They are not "culturally Christian" where we have to separate ourselves from what is said to be Christian by our culture and what is really of Christ Himself. And these short articles and talks are not enough to see all of their cultural blunders so I don't want to lift up all the other people groups and bash our own culture. But it makes me wonder...what would our churches look like if we were without the gospel and it came to us today? Would we have the clean-cut specific doctrinal statements? Would we be more focused on living out the gospel than trying to figure it all out? Would our services look the same? Would we need such specific liturgy? Would our worship songs be so focused on sounding nice so they move our hearts or would they focus more on God? As I've gone throughout the last few days, these questions and more have flooded my mind. Really, what would our churches look like if they didn't have the history that they have from the reformation, or even earlier?

I see why they named this course the way they did.

No More Wavering

Wow, if I had actually posted in the last 2 weeks, it would have been on my lack of prayers for the nations and prayer in general (I'd also explain why, but it may come later), focusing on God's glory for motivation for missions instead of on having compassion for people, and my fears I have in thinking about going somewhere as a missionary. I'll talk about the last one here, but the others I'll have to wait.

Well, Monday we had an amazing speaker who spent 20 years in Papua New Guinea. 6 years they learned the language and for 7 months they presented the gospel. It took 6 1/2 years before anyone could become a convert. But by then so many desperately wanted what God had for them. They understood the Old Testament as a whole and when the missionaries finally got to Christ and his crucifixion, the people of the tribe understood that Christ died for their sins. It took 7 months of weeding out and separating them from their old tales, but they got it. 1hr and 40 min on this topic. Wow. I was moved to tears out of awe and joy and other positive emotions of how the church planting occurred in this tribe by these missionaries. I wish all could have been there to hear of such an experience as his.

So now, I see absolutely no reason not to plan on leaving. My reasons for staying (or, rather, resisting leaving), I've realized are weak. Absolutely weak. For example, some of my fears are: not wanting to leave the nice routine that I can establish here, or family, or friends; not wanting to live among big bugs that are absolutely disgusting; not being able to learn a language and being humbled in the process of trying; not wanting to suffer in any way; not wanting to leave warm showers; not wanting to change my diet, or clothes, or culture in any way; now wanting to get a foreign disease and possibly not treating it as I would here; and the list goes on.

I realized this week that it is immeasurably greater (like the Christianese?) to go and leave all of those fears behind for the sake of reaching nations. The speaker made it come alive as he lived it and absolutely loved it. Sure he had hard times, in fact quite a bit of them, but he counted it as worth it. Also, he was a Southern Californian surfer who didn't want to leave, didn't have the calling and was bad with languages. Nothing should hold us back. And it reminded me of all of the missionaries and martyrs and everything who counted their suffering as being completely worth it. None of them would have traded that time for the luxuries that I have as I write this on my nice PC. So I am determined to go unless God holds me back.

Is the Flu Evil?

"But it's hardly less puzzling how so many believing Christians today can read these same Gospels, commit themselves to following this Jesus, and yet never seriously consider treating sickness and disease (to say nothing of demonized people) the way Jesus treated them."
-Gregory A. Boyd, God at War

He states this after briefly discussing how some believe Jesus was a moral teacher. He puts people like me practically in the same group as people who believe Jesus was a moral teacher. While I'm slightly offended, I'm also intrigued.

His main point was that all of Christ's work, including teaching, exorcisms, healings, miracles and work on the cross, were "acts of war." Okay, fair enough. Certainly Satan ruled this earth and Jesus did come to take back His reign over earth and destroy Satan's rule completely...even if it did take two comings for it to be complete. But Jesus' whole life was, according to the author, about overpowering Satan. My question is: Did everything He did have that purpose?

I ask this because I'm not so sure that diseases and sicknesses are so evil. I'm not so sure that every bit of pain we feel should be cast out. I think the author is right that healings are done in opposition to Satan, but I think that so often we grow so much more in difficult times (including diseases, deaths and sicknesses) that we wouldn't know God apart from those hard times. What about Job's sickness? Or Paul's thorn?

I don't deny that miraculous healings occur today, but should that be my response? If so, when? Should I be so in tune with God that I know when to pray for healing and when to pray for perseverance? Well, we know Paul was persistent in asking God and then God denied him his request. Maybe that should be my response: be persistent until God is clear on His will.

Oh and I have another question (go figure, right?). In Luke 4:38-39 when Jesus heals Simon's mother-in-law, was that an act against evil. It says "[He] rebuked the fever and it left her." The author claims this is an act against demons, and I'm not so sure I would go so far, but it does have the taste that this fever was evil. Hmm...I just don't know what to think.

Well, the point of this reading in Perspectives is to show the church that we should be involved in "overthrowing evil powers just as Jesus had done." And the study guide asks, "Is it possible to carry out Christ's Great Commission without in some way fighting against evil?" Clearly the answer is no. But I think Boyd has a different look on spiritual warfare than I do. Maybe I need to adjust the way I see it, but I'm not so convinced by the argument he gave and the Scriptures he presented. Am I too much of a skeptic?

The Israelites as Missionaries?

One of the early chapters of the Perspectives homework claimed that God did send Israelites to the whole nation with the Great Commission. The author (Walter C. Kaiser) used three texts: Gen 12:1-3, Ex 19:4-6 & Psalm 67. I agree that the Old Testament has the missionary vision all over it, but I'm not convinced that the Israelites of the OT were supposed to actually go to the nations to proclaim God's salvation.

The key people in the OT that he used in the intro to demonstrate his point were: Melchizedek (Gen 14), Jethro (Ex 18), Balaam (Num 23-24), and Jonah. Now, I agree that these people were Gentiles or went to the Gentiles. But were they special cases?

Here's my key question I can't get off my mind: Did God want all nations to have salvation in Him before He sent His son to live and die on earth?

See, the author was clear that the 3 texts I mentioned in Gen, Ex & Psalms are not the only texts in the OT and that there aren't many texts in the OT that are really explicit about missions. He claims that the OT has a general sense of missions throughout. And I totally agree. My problem is that I see it slightly differently. I see it as God wants His fame in every nation, but not necessary salvation for every nation...yet. The OT is filled with "...and then they will know that I am Yahweh God." He says it for Israel and for different nations. But the impression I get from the OT is that that's all God wants from non-Israelites right now - He just wants them to recognize Him and for Him to be completely famous across the earth...for His glory but not their salvation.

In Amos 1 & 2 God proclaims judgment on many nations and also Israel. Each judgment shows the same pattern and each one gives a reason. Here they are:

• "Because [Damascus] threshed Gilead with sledges having iron teeth..."
• "Because [Gaza] took captive whole communities and sold them to Edom..."
• "Because [Tyre] sold whole communities of captives to Edom, disregarding a treaty of brotherhood..."
• "Because [Ammon] ripped open the pregnant women of Gilead in order to extend his borders..."
• "Because [Moab] burned, as if to lime, the bones of Edom's king..."
• "Because [Israel has] rejected the law of Yahweh and have not kept His decrees, because they have been led astray by false gods, the gods their ancestors followed..."

Doesn't it seem like Israel is slightly different than the nations? The nations are ripping people to pieces and Israel isn't following their God. This is just one example of how I don't see God having a desire to be the God of the nations during the period of the OT. Especially when He says in Amos 3:2 "You only have I chosen of all the families of the earth." It seems pretty clear to me that Israel and Israel only is the chosen nation among nations to be God's people. Do we ever hear God saying to other nations, "And you shall be my people and I shall be your God"? Not that I know of.

The whole thing has me confused, so if you can shed any light, I'd appreciate it.

Starting off with a Big Picture

I'm beginning to take a step back from this world to look at the big picture of life via my reading in the Perspectives class. I find it quite interesting that God had the plan that He did. He created Satan and allowed him to set up a kingdom contrary to His own and He didn't cast him into the fiery pit right away. In fact, He allows this kingdom, ruled by Satan, to influence the human beings He created in His own image. He doesn't stop this evil from penetrating into their lives! Why not? Why doesn't He stop evil right away?

Because somehow it's not in His plan. I think He doesn't get glory unless He overcomes this evil in a big way. I think He doesn't get to show Himself - including all of His incredible characteristics - to His people unless sin & evil are amidst us. He would never need to come and live with us and die for us. His glory would never be displayed. I often wondered why in first grade they always told us that our stories needed to have a problem. I thought it restricted me and put me in some sort of a box because I didn't want problems in my story. But little did my first grade mind know that problems are what make stories good. God created the best epic story and it wouldn't be epic if Satan, sin & death were abolished right at the beginning.

How does this shape my view of missions? More on that to come in the future. But first, a fun note on OT/NT connections. So we see there are 2 problems: Satan creates evil & man follows. But God created a solution. He will 1) overcome Satan's kingdom and 2) He will redeem man.

• The latter is showed in Christ being of the seed of Abraham and Issac (Ab's son) is the representation of the coming Messiah because he's a living sacrifice. This sacrifice and redemption is displayed in the animal the lamb (i.e. the Day of Atonement...spotless lamb).
• Now, (1) is shown in Christ being the seed of David and his son, Solomon, is the representation of the coming Messiah because He was such a great king in great splendor. Such is Christ and the animal that displays this solution is the lion because the lion has such great "kingly authority."

At Christ's first coming, He has both overcome Satan's kingdom and He has redeemed man. But they're both still in progress and will be complete at His second coming. This seems quite normal to me, but at the time of the first coming, Jews were confused - even John the Baptist and His disciples.

Why Am I Doing This...Again?

This blog will act as a sort of personal missions journal. I have trouble journaling on paper because I get tired. I know, lame excuse, but it's true.

I feel the need to journal on missions for a number of reasons. I've explored missions and felt it was a calling. But lately I don't know if I'm really called. I think as I've grown since Urbana '03 I realized what a sacrifice it is to go to another country and how unprepared I am to go right now. Maybe in the future I'll be ready, but right now I've got a lot of growing in Christ to do.

Also, I'm taking the Perspectives course this spring semester. And since I decided to take it for credit I have to do all of the reading. That means, I'm learning A LOT and there will be much content that I want to digest. I can do that here on this blog.

Lastly, I want to be able to keep anyone who wants to be updated, updated on my possible future journey overseas. And I know I won't have time for tons of personal e-mails. So a blog is the way I'm solving that conundrum. Oh and I say "possible" because I haven't applied yet. I should be working on that right now as I have the day off, but I wanted to start this blog.


2.20.2008
See an update about how I feel about my calling for missions here.