Love is... Wait, What?

Love is patient, right? We all know that from 1 Corinthians 13 because it's the first line about what love is. Love is easy when patient is easy when the person you're loving is easy going. Today I learned that love is difficult because patient is difficult with students who refuse to obey in any way shape or form. Patience is hard when there is blatant, ongoing, relentless disobedience. Love is a command and a choice - and boy would I like to choose to not love right now! Of course I have decided not to quit my job, and in that decision I have chosen to deliberately love. I realized, this morning, that love is essential for having motivation to keep teaching ungrateful students. And yet it is so, so difficult to maintain this sort of love. Love is hard.

Eventually, I realized that I am just like my students. I have blatant, ongoing, relentless disobedience to God and His laws even when I fully know what is right. His love is beyond my understanding. How can He still love us the way He does? Why doesn't He just throw in the towel because of impatience? I don't know why or how, but it's amazing that He doesn't! And the wonderful line from Andrew Peterson's song "Rocket" rings true, "love alone can carry..."

Good News; Bad News

Let's start with the good news first, shall we? I have been accepted to CIU and I plan to attend there in the fall! I'm really excited about attending, but I also have some reservations. However, the excitement FAR outweighs my reservations. I'm a bit nervous to be reading and writing so much since computation is my forte. I am excited to be learning again and to be within a community of believers so focused on M work. I can't wait to be learning under amazing professors in a small school - I hear they get to know the student body quite well. So, what's the goal of going to CIU? Direction for the future. Under that idea, it's nice to have a Bible education background for some possible goals of mine.

Okay, so I know this blog is a bit choppy, but it's late (for me) and I want to write one more thing. I have been teaching middle school math last week and today to ungrateful eighth graders. Last week I had about 18-20 students. Today, I received 20 more. So, I have two classes of 20 students who are not required to attend. Their grades in my class do not matter for anything. It has been tough to motivate them in any way. Some students will NOT stop talking. I have a number of methods to keep a class quiet and under control, but about 5 students in my 2nd hour refuse to stop talking. They have already tested my patience beyond what I have experienced so far. I tell you this for prayer. I am begging you to pray for me and for these students! Hard work is a distant idea in their lives and today I feel drained of motivation techniques. How can I stay motivated to teach them how to be motivated for 15 more days of class? 15 days seems like forever when in the first 2 days I felt ready to be done.