I Love the City

The weekend before last I went to Chicago for five days and it was a very full and wonderful weekend. Here's a "short" day-by-day:

Thursday night: wonderful fellowship and catching up with Michelle in BC. Going 1 year without seeing a good friend is too long. Way too long.

Friday: train to Chicago, chill in the hotel room and dinner with Ahavah at a T restaurant. Again, great fellowship and catching up! It turns out she's been to T and back again. I'm so jealous. She will likely go to Moody next year or in the near future (pocket this thought for a few minutes).

Saturday: physics conference seeing professors and students I rarely see.

Sunday: physics conference and then afternoon church with Alyssa. I could probably write a whole post about this church but basically it's ah-mazing and in a bad part of town. What faith it takes to live there and minister there. But oh the rewards! I tasted the sweetness of being in that community, and I also tasted some of the hardships as well. When I say "taste" I really don't mean a full gulp but a small sip. I could go on and on but in brief, Sunday was just wonderful. I felt the city pulling on my heart to stay and never leave.

Monday: physics conference and then classes at Moody with Alyssa. Afterwards we were at Starbucks and she got a phone call that the whole EFree staff was in town. So, after some awesome fellowship (again!), we went out to dinner.

Okay, here's where I need to start detailing. I had dinner with P. Steve, P. Jay and Ben (we had to split up into 3 tables). I've been needing to debrief my student teaching with Steve and so I purposely sat next to him. We had discussion about a number of fun topics, but a fair amount of time was spent on what I am called to do with my life. All the details aren't necessary (because they're quite long), but in the end I realized I need to figure out what the next step God is calling me to. I shouldn't just assume it's teaching simply because I'm passionate about it.

This realization came in when Jay said that if I'm called to missions and I am not planning on doing anything further about it then I'm walking in disobedience. Yup, that cued me in real quick. He asked why I was in limbo about the future and I replied that I've been "busy." He said, "Well, busy isn't a good excused on judgment day!" Furthermore, Steve said that I should immerse myself in missions and see if I'm passionate about it or not. His suggestion: Bible school.

So, what next? Prayer. Research Moody & Columbia. Prayer. Research nunneries. Prayer. Prayer.

(just kidding about the nunnery thing)

And sometime after that weekend I had a revelation. It may be obvious to you but for some reason it's never really clicked for me. I realized that if God has a will for my life then I don't have to figure out the logistics for everything and I can just do as He directs. Plus, it's better His way than my way. That sounds painfully obvious, but there's a difference between head knowledge and living it out. The results: It's not up to me (or any other outside influences). I don't have to figure out what I want and don't want. I don't need to fear that I'll take the wrong steps (unless I step without prayer). The burden of the future is off my shoulders...it's all gonna work out all right.

And now to finish up the weekend...

Tuesday: New Testament at Moody with Alyssa where I found out they (the professors and whatnot) are dispensationalists and therefore cessationists. Many of the students disagree but that's the way it is nonetheless. Then, a train ride home to BC with a 2-hour delay due to hitting a 16-year old boy. This is still settling in weird for me. It's not that I was in a car and hit him (which would be far worse and I probably would have cried), but I was in the train that hit him. How tragic for his family and what a sober way to return to the routine of teaching.