Day Three

Three days in a row! I doubt it will keep up at this rate, but we'll see. I gots lots to say! So, I'm writing. Plus, I have weekly, 1-page, double-spaced reflections and I think I'm just going to pull from my blog to write it up.

Anywho, now to the "good stuff." Today, I almost cried. That's right. On Day Three, the kids broke me down. Well, not exactly. Here's the deal, I took over 6th hour (you know, pre-calc w/ 37 crazy seniors!) because there was a sub who didn't know math and it was the plan anyways. Almost the whole hour they tried talking all the time. See, now I just don't take lots of kids talking at once. I won't take it. I refuse to talk over them. But any time I tried to settle them down, kids were laughing at me. And not just one, but half of them - or all of them! Who does that? I guess these kids. When I got the class quiet enough to speak, I would begin instruction and soon the level of noise would raise from everywhere. I'd stop. Wait. Say something. Begin. Over and over and over for 54 minutes. A couple of times when it was quiet, I would give them a short lecture on respect and how this class is going to work when I'm teaching. They were pretty disappointed that I was going to be teaching them the whole fall, but I really don't care at this point. They're probably going to hate me because I won't let them talk, but it sure ain't my place to become their friends at a loss of instruction. Absolutely not.

A few kids were working hard and asking questions and some even stayed late to get help. It's good to know there are some willing to work. And it wasn't until driving home that I almost cried (that's why I said they didn't break me). I saw one girl at her house running in the front yard and I thought, "Wow, that little girl will be lucky to have people that build into her motivation for achievement. She'll be lucky if she graduates knowing how to do math and write well." Something has GOT to change in the system for these students to do well and learn. I don't know what it is, but the learning community and maybe even the community as a whole needs some development.

I don't even know how I can teach them pre-calc. If they're plugging in 18+4-10 into their calculator to find out that it's 12 as a senior in HS, they need something more before pre-calc. One girl was so excited when she found out -8 over 8 is -1. These simple basics are not rooted in them as basics. What is simple algebra to many, is tough math to a number of seniors.

This teaching biz is tough. Who am I to say I can do it? Well, it's possible by God's grace. I know I don't want to become one of those hardened teachers who doesn't care, and I don't want to have so low of expectations that I never ask questions for fear that none of them know the answer.

Today was a hard day. Now I know exactly why the last two math student teachers quit before the end of the semester forfeiting graduation. Please, don't let me make that decision.